I just want you to know who I am...

(I just want you to know who I am)

I have been a bit worried... I thought that little creative part of my brain was dying (I worry about this quite often) and I was getting quite frustrated with myself.  But now I feel that familiar feeling running through me again, and this makes me smile to myself.  The more I think about it the more I realise that I have to have times where that frantic creative flow ebbs away for a while, otherwise my brain would probably explode.

I think it is also important to understand the way we work, to know these rhythms and to trust them.  To not give ourselves a hard time when things are going wrong, to listen to that inner voice and give ourselves the time we need to be ready for the next stage... whatever that may be.  

As I write this I am glad my children are sound sleepers because I am singing loudly (really loudly) to Kate Rusby, I need to do that sometimes, it helps the creative flow.

8 sleeps...

(my business postcard for the UK)

I started packing yesterday and have written a few lists, lists for my carry on bag, a list for what I need in my wallet, lists for my luggage bag, lists for different things inside my luggage bag, a list of works to take with me, a list of hair care essentials... lists for every possible thing I could think of. I have 13.5 lists (one isn't finished yet) I think I am covered for everything.

Ben is starting to get excited, I think he is sensing that his first plane ride is getting closer, on the way to work he asks are we going to England today? One morning very soon the answer will be... yes.

I've been having very restless nights worrying about things, catching a taxi from the train station to the bus station in Paris... I think it is only 6km but I worry we will not find a taxi. I worry about our cat who is a little odd and will probably hibernate under the house for the whole time we are away and and stress out her carers, I worry about how heavy my bag will be, have I thought of everything, will I find somewhere that will like my art work, should I even bother with it? has Ben got enough clothes (he has grown so much in the last year and doesn't fit his trousers and sweaters from last winter), how will I cope with the lack of sleep? how will Ben cope with the monotonous hours on the plane? So those are just a few of the things going through my head at the moment. I think I need to do this though, this internal worrying, more often then not things are way better then what I imagine them to be.

Other then that I am very excited and can't wait for next Wednesday to arrive.

I haven't done any art work the last week and I feel a bit lost. I thought some clear head space before our trip would be a good idea. But I feel like some good friends I had staying have gone home and I miss them, I guess they will be back.