New pendants

These are some of my new pendants I have been working on over the holidays. I will probably get them listed on Etsy next week some time, I am still waiting for some chain to arrive. I wore the above one to a party last week and I got quite a few compliments.

They settings are a mixture of antiqued silver, patera grande and pewter and then I use a two part resin finish over the top to protect the image.

(waiting for the resin)

I am really trying not to force things at the moment, I seem to give myself such a hard time when I feel I am not doing enough, when things are not good enough etc... I think it is true that we can be our own biggest critic. I am finding lately that I talk myself out of trying so many things and my reasoning for this is that it will be a waste of time.

It is like I have two little beings sitting on my shoulders, one loudly telling me that every idea I have is stupid and a waste of time and the other one softly whispers "maybe you should give it a go"? It reminds me of the add on TV for instant kiwi "You should get a perm Douglas... get a perm" Well I think I am going to try listening to the soft whispers...

Why do I internally beat myself up like this?... self doubt is a nasty thing. I don't think I am the person I should be. The me I see in my head is not the me I am, if that makes sense. I want to be the me in my head and every now and again I think I am but it doesn't last for long. I see someone else that is doing a better job at being me then I am. Good grief I sound like a fruit loop!

Anyway... other news is that the painting I did for the last giveaway I had last month has gotten lost! I feel bad but Tara has been very understanding and I am going to do her a replacement.

Two of Polarity's pendants have sold with my images on them!!! so very exciting, her shop is s must to see, so very clever.

Holidays... oops

I Forgot to say that I was going to be on holiday for the next two weeks... It has been very busy so far with lots of birthdays, tomorrow is Stuart's birthday and he is celebrating by going to hospital to have a knee opp. A football injury that he has been nursing for a while so will be good to have it fixed. The doctor said he would be ok to eat cake after the opperation so we will make sure he has a lovely birthday afternoon as he will be asleep and drowsey for most of the morning.

I have some exciting news... two of my prints are featured in polarity's shop on one of her brilliantly designed pendant necklaces, I am so excited they look fab she has done a wonderful job. You can take a look here... let me know what you think.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27673211

(I am using my computer at home and it is a little old and I can't seem to link anything, so to see the above link you might have to copy and paste into your address bar)? sorry...

I have also been trying some more of my own necklaces and will post and list them after the holidays...


This is a holiday piece I have been working on, it has been fun having it sitting on my art table and as I am pottering around the house doing things (can't really go outside as the weather is beyond crappy at the moment, so cold and wet) I stop every now and again and do a little bit on it. I have found it to be a nice easy way to work around the holiday routines.

Well better dash... will be back in a week with some pics of my new jewels and probably more painitngs.

sweet sixteen...

(Hannah 4 years)

How did 16 come around so fast? It has really snuck up on me and I am not sure I am prepared. I guess it is too bad whether I am prepared or not it has happened and it is here. It is a funny age 16, I seem to go from happily watching her make her way into the world and then frantically trying to reel her back in again. And this yo yo-ing from one to the other can happen within minutes.

Hannah's 16 year old world is far different to the one I was living in 1987. The world is a much smaller place for her, so many more things are easier to access (good and bad) and life is way faster then when I was 16.

But I guess that constant underlying worry that's always at the back of my mind is probably the same my mother felt in 1987 and her mother in 1956.

This is the final piece for the second commission I have been working on. I am very excited also to be working on something else that I will reveal next week sometime, when they are finished.

I have been thinking of getting some uniform branding for when I send my work out to buyers. I think my biggest problem is that I keep changing my mind about what images to use, it is so frustrating! Anyway I think I have come up with something and will hopefully stick with it for longer then a week. I have also tried to get some moo mini cards but I can't seem to upload my images it keeps coming up with a 407 error? If anyone knows what that is about I will be glad to hear from you.

Talk is her passion...

potential title: (talk is her passion and her chief delight)

(I have no idea what this will be called as yet)

Two pieces that I have been working on this week, they are not quite finished yet... I just stuck their caps on last night and haven't really done anything with them yet, the bird on the second one needs a bit of tweaking and a few other things. I have quite enjoyed working on these this week, I had been planning to follow through with some more ideas on thoughts and speech and the person that commissioned these is a speech therapist so it came at just the right time. The fabric from the dress in the first picture reminds me of something I would have worn in the late 70's, like a pinafore or something.

The whole of New Zealand was waiting last night to see if they had won the biggest lottery prize ever... 36 million. I am sad to say it wasn't me, but it was fun to think what if... You know if I did win I think I would still come to work today, I would just be a jolly happy worker!

Anyway back to reality... thanks for all your comments and emails about messy studios, it seems I am quite normal. I have started relocating a few things into the vague places they belong with the intention of a proper sort out in a few weeks. It is just a matter of deciding what works best for me, and this seems to change as my work has changed over the last few years. I am not using some of the same materials I used a year ago so some of those things I can probably get rid of or swap.

Well it is a lovely sunny day here in the bay so I might just have to go outside and enjoy the rest of my coffee, I feel like talking to someone.

the shortest day

(I worked on this piece over the weekend, and it is finished and listed in my Etsy shop)

My studio space is a mess! and not just a top layer of mess but there are layers and layers of mess and muddle. I wonder whether it is just me or do other people's studios get into such a state? I don't have a big space (that might actually be a blessing) but I found last night that the whole of my table was covered with clutter and the space I was actually working in was no bigger then a piece of photocopy paper, if that! I get so involved in what I am doing and get things, tools, paper etc... out, use them and then leave them where I've discarded them. I am lucky enough to have a storeroom cupboard and lately I have been using that as a dumping ground for stuff. I have towers of papers and bits and pieces piled precariously on top of one another. These towers are nearly taller then me!

I am planning on a big huge clean up and sort out in the holidays, in two weeks time (which will be good as my friends and I have just started this thing called a 'crap swap'... where we bring along a load of stuff we no longer use or need, it can be anything clothes, books, art supplies, nick nacks, anything and then we take turns to pick something off the table. It is actually a lot of fun and everyone is pleased at the end of the night with their haul.

Anyway I am wondering if this is a really bad habit, to be so messy and lazy or do other people work this way too...? I would be interested to know how other people deal with the clutter and keeping it under control when it comes to making art work.

A list of 5 things for today

1... I have been accepted into the affordable art auction and have got two paintings done and framed and are all ready to be posted off tomorrow afternoon.

2... the shortest day today!

3... Everyone in our house has some kind of bug, I even heard the cat sneeze yesterday.

4... I got my very own scanner at work!!!

5... am looking forward to the holidays.

Thoughts at the time of making

a recent page from my workbook...
(click image to get a readable view)

When I forgot I left my bag by the car one morning and ran over it as I backed down the driveway, dragging it along with the car out onto the street and then drove off to work leaving it lying on the road... The thing I was upset about loosing most was my workbook. The other things like credit card, bank card etc... although annoying could be replaced. But my precious workbook I could never replace.

I have about 5 of them now since I was told at art school we had to have one. I was reluctant at first as I didn't know what to write or draw and felt very self conscious about the whole thing. But as time has gone by I have become fond of my workbooks and quite reliant on them. They have all my experiments, good and bad, my findings, and my thoughts at the time of making. I love flicking back through old ones and often get ideas for new works from them and it is good to see how my girls have developed over the years.

I think the process of this blog has been the same really, when I first started a year ago I was a bit unsure of what to write exactly... but now it has become easier. Although a few days ago I had someone say they had just discovered my blog and had read through the posts. I suddenly thought oh how embarrassing... but I think it is all part of the process, I need those first posts (workbooks) as a measure of how far I have grown creatively. A bit like photo albums and height charts... (although my height charts aren't that interesting as I don't think I grew much after 13)?

p.s For those that were wondering, a kind neighbour rescued my bag from the road and returned it that afternoon.

Both my children

I have been working on a mother and child series the last few weeks, this is the first one (it isn't quite finished yet). The water level is at a different height in these ones, the idea was that even though it can be the worry our children cause us, that makes us feel like we are sinking, at times they can also be our wings. As both my children are about to turn a year older I realise there is no going back. They will always be my children but they wont be children for long.


5 things I am looking forward to this weekend

1... A monthly Friday night get together with 6 fellow artists for dinner a few drinks and lots and lots of talking.

2... A sleep in and maybe a morning to myself on Saturday.

3... Doing some more painting.

4... Watching Stuart win his game of football on Saturday afternoon (as long as it's not raining).

5... Maybe a nice big pot of vege soup for lunch on Sunday.

The winner is...

TARA

Congratulations... Ben picked the winner out again, but he wanted to put Tara's name back in the bag and choose another one because it didn't have a B in it. So anyway Tara if you send me an email with your address I will get her sent off to you asap.

Thank you to all that entered, and thanks for all your lovely comments... I wish you could all win. I will have another one in a few months so stayed tuned.

She is blue...

I have done a few of these sinking girls for The Gilded Leaf in Napier, the others were similar to ones I have done before but this one was a bit different, she is blue. I am enjoying playing with different colours for the girls outfits and their swimming caps. I am also thinking of a new series of super hero girls...? I have just listed this and another green one in my Etsy shop.

The things that have made me feel like I was living on a constant roller coaster over the last wee while have now become semi normal (I have heard that it takes around two weeks to get used to something new). Routines are so very important to me, I think it has something to do with the changaphobia I have. If I know what is coming up I am fine, but when something happens, and it might only be a little something, I get the feeling I'm back on that blasted roller coaster again and a sense of anxiety creeps in. But I am not a complete freak as I have coped with a few sudden medical mishaps in the past and the whole trip to the UK was fine (Mind you my lists helped me with this one). I also think talking to my mother helps a lot, she is often the voice of reason.

As someone commented a few posts ago, often our fears and worries are unwarranted. But I think it is good to be prepared for these things and better to be pleasantly surprised then a great disaster smack you in the face with no warning.

A lits of 5 things today...

1... I guess life is just like that, all the ups and downs otherwise it wouldn't be life.

2... I have two interesting commissions to get on with this week.

3... There was no frost this morning, and we are only a few weeks away from the shortest day!

4... I am sure I grew a little bit taller in the night?

5... I am excited as Ben said this morning he wants a monster cake for his birthday... and then I can make invites to match the cake in the monster theme!!!

P.s... Don't forget to enter the giveaway in my last post, it finishes tomorrow (Tuesday) at midnight!!!

Giveaway

As of today, June 3rd I have been selling on Etsy for a whole year!!! So to celebrate this I am going to giveaway this original painting 130mm x 300mm (5" x 12") and a few extra goodies as well.


To win her all you have to do is leave a comment by the end of the day on the 9th June (NZ time) and I will announce the winner on the 10th... good luck.

Just the same as me...

I still feel on a daily basis that I’m constantly, having to use my swimming cap and then my wings (sinking and floating). I worry about the future and what it holds for me, and my family. Things that are out of my control still terrify me and I am finding it hard to just let go and see what happens... with my art and my life.

BUT I know it will pass and as I read peoples stories here… I am comforted in knowing there are others just the same as me. I realise that these stories of worry, sorrow, joy, happiness and just their everydayness are not for us alone, they are for us to share and give courage, understanding and wisdom to each other.

I guess you can’t help but use your wings when you have a friend beside you… whether that friend is right with you in person, in spirit or imaginary (hello January) it sure helps.

On a lighter note… I am enjoying the changing colours of the leaves at the moment. Our ginkgo tree out the front has only a few bright yellow leaves left and the wind has swept quite a few huge brown ones under our new gate. I love it when fallen leaves come to visit.

A swimming cap and a pair of wings

These girls with their swimming caps and wings have got me thinking and looking back during the weekend at the old me of 3 – 4 years ago. It makes me sad to think of myself then… I had a new baby, I was not very well etc… and I was pretty much sinking under it all. I could have done with a swimming cap and a pair of wings back then.

But things are different now, I am not usually one for change (to be honest I am not very good at it) but things have changed, or maybe I have changed… I am not sure but it is probably a bit of both. Babies change ever so quickly into little boys, little girls change into teenagers and doctors cut bad things out of you and make you feel better.

I think I am learning that no matter how bad things seem, over time they all work themselves out. My Mum often says to me we will be laughing about this in years to come. I just feel like giving that old me a big hug and telling her that I am certain things will be ok…


Five things I am certain about today…

1… There is nothing more certain then change in our lives.

2… It is going to rain all day.

3… I sold all four of my paintings at the Plunket exhibition!!! And there is also someone who is keen to buy another piece!

4… we are having chicken stir fry for tea with cashew nuts.

5… Tomorrow (Wednesday) I am listing four of these new original paintings in my Etsy shop...


As Silke commented in my last post, we all need a swimming cap and a pair of wings.

Take time...

(take time to catch your breath and choose your moment)

Lately I have felt like I am sinking, drowning under all the things that are going on around me. Things I think I should be doing, making sure everyone is happy and the things that are out of my control (those things are really hard)... and then there have been some days that I am doing ok, I am treading the water of life and am pretty much on top of things. Then there are the moments where I feel I am being lifted right out of the water when everything in life slots together and my world is just... right.

The girl above is me at the moment, treading water. With my swimming cap on (if I should sink) and my wings ready to lift me out of the water for those little moments of joy in life that do come every so often. I am learning to take life one day at a time, to not plan too far ahead where other people (teenagers) are concerned. How I chose to live my life may not be the same for others.

I think when you have children it is like letting a part of your soul go walking in the world with a will all of it’s own.