moving on...

(the passing of time)

I have just listed the above painting and a whole lot of other new prints and originals in my Etsy shop, it feels good to give the shop an update.

Well it is that time again... I will be away for the next two weeks on school holidays. Which I will be spending looking for somewhere to live, then packing and then moving. I will let you know how it all goes when I get back and settled into my new life.

You know I am actually quite proud of myself, proud of how I have dealt with all that has been going on and proud that I am doing ok with it all. I have learnt a few things about myself and the people around me.

I am working on a new princess piece at the moment that is based around the Princess and the pea story... she will be surrounded in reds, pinks, oranges, chocolate brown and maybe a hint of pea green. I am hoping to get a bit of time to finish her by the end of the holidays... will see?

I have a interesting weekend planned involving a sleepover, an alpaca convention, an etsy get together and a road trip. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I will look forward to catching up in a few weeks.

It feels right...

(A few little close ups from a new piece)

I am quite happily settling back into the groove of working again after taking a few weeks off from making art... and it feels good, it feels right and it makes me happy.

With everything else that has been happening, all the sorting out that has to be done, sitting at my art table is my happiness, my bliss. Especially when Ben comes to sit with me and wants to do his own art work too.

Yesterday Hannah showed me some of her art she had been doing for school and Ben came over to have a look and he clapped his hands and said "Oh Hannah those are great, I didn't know you could do art work too".

colours in my world...

(sadness flies away on the wings of time)
(I am not sure about the little red house being where is it? I might move it over to the side?)

The colours in my world are changing... and I am getting quite excited by this new world my girls are finding themselves in.

And as my world is also going through a few changes, I am still feeling a lot of the things from my last post, I know it will pass and things will get better... easier. I thought it was time to make a list of things I want for myself, for my future.

• For my children to be happy and healthy.
• Buy a home in Napier in a sunny spot with rooms and spaces that I can claim as my own, that are filled with art and love (and a lovely but low stress garden).
• Have a long kitchen table for friends and family to come and share meals that are fun, alive and make me laugh so hard...
• To publish a children's book with a wonderful publisher
• and then publish another and another...
• Have many successful exhibitions with beautiful paintings that make me proud.
• Keep walking every lunch time at work and eat delicious healthy food to enable me to get into the best shape of my life.
• Surround myself with people who I love, who are emotionally supportive and love me for who I am and what I do.
• To earn a good living doing what makes me really happy.
• Earn enough money to pay off my student loan entirely, and my mortgage, and maybe a holiday home (am dreaming big here).
• Travel more.
• For inspiration to keep its grip on my life and for my dreams to continue.

Thanks again everyone for all your supportive emails and comments, you have made what I am going through a lot easier. And also thanks to all my new followers!!! WOW!

thought number 29...

I had been given the gift of good luck and I have cursed it, cursed it by being my stupid self. That was my first thought anyway. The next 27 thoughts were a little more specific... how I had actually gone about wrecking the luck of the precious four leaf clover I had found pressed in a book I'd bought at a garage sale.

Now I am not sure if there is any etiquette I should have been told after becoming the sudden owner of a four leaf clover, if there is it would have been rather helpful. Since owning the said four leaf clover my life has been turned upside down and inside out. I have been left confused, angry, scared and hurt... really hurt. Surely new four leaf clover owners shouldn't be feeling like this? Then I had thought number 28... I had found a four leaf clover pressed in a book. How long it had been there... I will never know. But I found it, like it was waiting for me, meant for me. Thought number 28 was swiftly followed by number 29... Maybe this very hard thing that has happened is something that has to happen for the good luck to start. And maybe years from now I will look back at this precise moment and say well that was lucky.

Not that I think relationships are based on luck, I know it takes a lot of hard work. A lot. But I think it must be good luck if you're able to meet and recognise a soul mate in this world.

Now don't get me wrong I don't really think my four leaf clover was behind the break up of my relationship. I guess I was trying to make light out of the confusion that is life sometimes. If I didn't do this I would be a crying mess curled up in bed for days on end, possibly even months? The most important thing now is to work together to make this an easier thing for Ben to cope with.

Someone said to me... It doesn't matter what happens to you in life it is how you deal with it that matters.

(who is the fairest of them all)

I went away on the art retreat this weekend, and what good luck the timing of that was. I was really ready for a bit of time out, switching off all the thoughts and worries that have been churning around in my mind for the last few weeks. I got lots done and meet some really lovely women... we all had such a good time.

The above painting is the start of a new series of works that came about last week after reading Tara's lovely blog about a book by Brian Andreas... I just loved his stories and one in particular had a line that stirred something in me "I am much more then a princess". I had been thinking of doing a series of very special girls, with very interesting and unusual lives. Girls who are princess like... but I had never thought of them being more then that. So the image above is the first of these in progress.

The last thing I need to say today is a big thank you to all the lovely supportive comments and emails I have had over the last few weeks. They really gave me strength and filled my heart. (I am not actually sure what happened to the original post I did on the 1st September but somehow it got deleted)?

It is the first day of Spring and my world has been turned upside down... I am feeling lost, confused, angry, sad and hurt, really hurt. I am finding it hard getting through the hours in the day, I just want to curl up in a ball and make it all go away. I know I will be alright I just need a bit of time. So I am thinking I might need to take a little time away from here, but I will be back. I still have three pendants to give away, but it wont be in celebration of my birthday mabe for something else once I get on my feet again?

Anyway will catch you all again soon

take care...