I had been given the gift of good luck and I have cursed it, cursed it by being my stupid self. That was my first thought anyway. The next 27 thoughts were a little more specific... how I had actually gone about wrecking the luck of the precious four leaf clover I had found pressed in a book I'd bought at a garage sale.
Now I am not sure if there is any etiquette I should have been told after becoming the sudden owner of a four leaf clover, if there is it would have been rather helpful. Since owning the said four leaf clover my life has been turned upside down and inside out. I have been left confused, angry, scared and hurt... really hurt. Surely new four leaf clover owners shouldn't be feeling like this? Then I had thought number 28... I had found a four leaf clover pressed in a book. How long it had been there... I will never know. But I found it, like it was waiting for me, meant for me. Thought number 28 was swiftly followed by number 29... Maybe this very hard thing that has happened is something that has to happen for the good luck to start. And maybe years from now I will look back at this precise moment and say well that was lucky.
Not that I think relationships are based on luck, I know it takes a lot of hard work. A lot. But I think it must be good luck if you're able to meet and recognise a soul mate in this world.
Now don't get me wrong I don't really think my four leaf clover was behind the break up of my relationship. I guess I was trying to make light out of the confusion that is life sometimes. If I didn't do this I would be a crying mess curled up in bed for days on end, possibly even months? The most important thing now is to work together to make this an easier thing for Ben to cope with.
Someone said to me... It doesn't matter what happens to you in life it is how you deal with it that matters.
I went away on the art retreat this weekend, and what good luck the timing of that was. I was really ready for a bit of time out, switching off all the thoughts and worries that have been churning around in my mind for the last few weeks. I got lots done and meet some really lovely women... we all had such a good time.
The above painting is the start of a new series of works that came about last week after reading Tara's lovely blog about a book by Brian Andreas... I just loved his stories and one in particular had a line that stirred something in me "I am much more then a princess". I had been thinking of doing a series of very special girls, with very interesting and unusual lives. Girls who are princess like... but I had never thought of them being more then that. So the image above is the first of these in progress.
The last thing I need to say today is a big thank you to all the lovely supportive comments and emails I have had over the last few weeks. They really gave me strength and filled my heart. (I am not actually sure what happened to the original post I did on the 1st September but somehow it got deleted)?