Wednesday, October 27, 2010

a little lost...



This is the beginning of a new piece of work... I am not sure what it will look like when it is finished or where it will lead but this is where it's at right now.

While I was nearing the end of getting work ready for the exhibition I had a lot of new ideas forming in my head, but I couldn't really do anything about them as I didn't have time to start new works. And now these ideas have gone... well maybe not gone, they have just gotten a little lost.  Which is the way I am feeling at the moment.  Like this piece above I am not sure where I am heading, where I want to go, want to be... I feel like I am just a tiny step ahead of everything, with not much room for breathing. Although I guess it is better than being a step behind and it is probably just the way it is at this time of the year.

I am finding it is so easy these days to give myself a hard time for not living up to my own dreams...  I wonder whether there is anyone out there who is completely living the life they dreamed?


Out of the blue the other day Ben asked me this...

Ben..."Is Michael Jackson dead"?
Me... "yes he is"
Ben..."was he alive before he died"?

9 comments:

Ellen Borggreve said...

I always enjoy reading your blog, but this time I just had to comment. It is not so easy to live your dreams, it is scary and it is hard. I am an artist too and am in that same place at the moment where you wonder if you'll ever live your dream or that you will forever be too scared to do so. I don't know the answer yet. Artists do seem to get lost more easily than others. According to Eric Maisel's book The Van Gogh Blues it comes from a search for meaning in our lives. I have been reading that book for weeks now and think he might just have a point. I hope you will soon find your way again...Ellen

Brigitte aka Scrappassie said...

Ahhh .. the questions of life. Completely live the life of your dreams? Personally I don't think that is possible, for me that is. I always struggle between things I have to do and things I want to do ;-) Ellen said : artists do seem to get lost more easily than others ... That hit me, and I am intrigued with the book she mentioned. Anyway, try to relax, you'll find your way again !
Now the other question can be answered more easily ... Yes, MJ was alive before he died .... but only barely ;-) But tell Ben also he was a genius in music ! Guess he was struggling too living the life of his dreams ....

Beth said...

Hey Katherine,
The dream isnt what its cracked up to be if it requires us to be perfect, and always hardworking and always successful, and never a little lost. As scary as it is being lost is a special state of mind from which awesome things come. Its time I lent you my copy of Michael Leunigs short notes from the long history of happiness, my favorite of all books. You are a great person, with a strength of character and load of talent that you actually use (already this puts you ahead of the game) Go easy on yourself. Big hugs
Beth

Louise said...

I always say to myself to 'pull in my orrs' when I feel like this. As'lost will become found'. If I try to hard I end up in a chaotic knot. Just stare at those clouds awhile and I am sure, you'll find your way. I, like so many others, love your gorgeous work. :)

chrissy said...

i cant wait for the day when i meet you and those wonderful kiddlets of yours. so clever.
my 9 year old just thinks he IS michael jackson...he is a dancin fool i tell yA.

XO
C

Jess said...

I'm sure you (and your painting) will find your way. In the meantime, I'm sending you lots of love and inspiration!!

Jenny Blair said...

Out of the mouths of babes...don't they just make you smile :)
I have only just discovered your wonderful art and am smiling because your post is speaking of EXACTLY where I am at!!
However I am reminded of wise words I was once given...the best parts of having our dreams come true is the journey it takes to get there.. :)

Kerri said...

i wonder what he meant by that...was he alive before he was dead. that's pretty interesting!! and now i want to know more of the conversation.

congrats to being even just a step ahead!!

sonyamacdesigns said...

Love what your little guy said ... yes, he is so right, it's so hard to know with all the media when someone today is dead ... Jimmi, Elvis and now MJ